Fatherly – Jonathan Stern
It’s going to happen one day — your child will come home from school and say that some older kid on the playground told him that Santa wasn’t real. Your first instinct may be to find out where this Son of a Grinch lives and hand deliver him a lump of coal. But that wouldn’t be in the Christmas spirit, would it?
Dale McGowan is the author of ” In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families”, and he was in your spot not too long ago. The best advice is what you intrinsically know: “The appropriate response is to tell the truth,” says McGowan.
Don’t worry, you won’t destroy their sense of childlike wonder. If anything, the fact that they asked means that they’re developing a healthy perspective on reality — so … already a step ahead of Donald Trump!
You Won’t Have to Answer This Question For A While
No 2-year-old wanders up to their parents and asks point-blank if Santa Claus is real. They’ll usually start by asking a lot of questions about the chimney width, flying sleigh physics, and Santa’s shady employment practices.
Eventually their curiosity will lead them to that final need-to-know answer. So, what then? “You reward their willingness to know the answer by giving them the answer,” says McGowan. “What they’re indicating at that point is that they’re ready for it and you should say ‘Congratulations, you figured it out.'”
Can Kids Handle the Truth?
Contrary to what you may think, children are less disappointed with the fact that Santa Claus isn’t real that you may think. McGowan says that kids are usually relieved to know, or excited to be on the inside of this worldwide secret (just like the Lizard People — but you’ve said too much). He’s also found that older kids are good about keeping the Santa secret for younger kids. Because with great yuletide power, comes great yuletide responsibility.
Don’t Propagate The Myth Too Enthusiastically
By all means, leave out milk and cookies for Santa, but don’t start planting evidence for the jolly fat man like you’re the North Pole’s LAPD. “Doing that is more heavy-handed and deceptive,” says McGowan. “That’s when kids can feel betrayed.”
Don’t Threaten With The Naughty List
When McGowan’s daughter started doubting, his son told her that said Santa would leave coal her stocking if she didn’t believe. Sure, as a parent part of you want to use this bit of Santa-lore to keep your child on the straight and narrow. Don’t do it. When your children do find out that there’s no Santa, they’ll feel manipulated. Instead, walk back the whole idea of a naughty and nice list. If your kids are rotten, you’re not going to cancel Christmas. If they’re extra nice, that’s a little creepy. Plus being punished by an all-seeing, all-knowing entity is better left to organized religion.
by MindMake via MindMake Blog
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