The Good Men Project – Anna Rosenblum Palmer
What happens to our kids when we choose not to adopt a “parenting philosophy”?
Helicopter Parenting. Free Range Parenting. Sharenting. The names go on and on. We all reap rewards and pay the price for whichever philosophy we adopt. What happens when we don’t adopt a philosophy at all? What happens to our kids if we cross the line from laissez-faire to downright lazy? Let’s take a look…
1. Outerwear My son rushed out the door to school juggling his backpack, sneaker, and water bottle. What was missing? His coat. It was 5 degrees. Did I rush after him? No. I sat at the counter sipping my tea. One frozen morning can saved hundreds of mornings of nagging.
2. Laundry My son rarely gets out of his snugly fleece. We rotate through contributions and it was his turn doing the laundry. After dumping a bowl of feral down his front he added his “fuzzy” to a full load. He ran the washer and stopped there. From Friday to Tuesday things melded into a sour mess. He lost his beloved fleece. We were down a few sheets, but we are now up a diligent laundry doer. Things are fresh and folded in just a few hours.
3. Dinner This one is a simple equation. One meal + full family = flexible eaters.
4. Cold Hard Cash My kids get a dollar per year of life. The money comes at the end of family meeting and is not tied to chores. Contributing to our household is an expectation that stands apart from payment. They are paid in cash each Monday. If they leave their cash lying around they lose it. This has happened one time each.
5. Reaping the Rewards of Natural Consequences Do you dread food shopping? Do your kids whine and demand things at checkout, do you forget half of your list? Are you willing to give up a week of organization? Let them shop.
Our town has a small grocery store. I sat in the car and talked with the boys about what our family needed to get through the week. They carefully copied down a list. Which they ignored. I gave them the money to shop and sat literal drivers seat while the boys took the figurative one. About 50 minutes later they were loading the car. By Thursday we were all a bit hungry. The next week they chose more chicken. As a bonus they appreciate the delicate balance of meal planning and budget and are much better companions when we take to the cart collaboratively.
6. The Reverse Tuck In I go to bed. They tuck me in.
So simple. So satisfying. They feel competent and grown up. I feel my eyelids on my eyeballs.
Read More at The Good Men Project
by MindMake via MindMake Blog
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