The New Age Parents – Som Yew Ya
All parents want their children to do well in life; not just to survive in society but to excel. We prepare ourselves to be dutiful parents, and we prepare our children to give them the best for growing up.
At what point does responsible parenthood and parental effort cross into hyper-parenting?
The level of parental anxiety today is higher than in our parent’s time as we live in an increasingly competitive society. There’s resources teaching how to analyse a baby’s cries, how to train for sleep in a variety of ways, whether your toddler is holding a pencil correctly. Flash cards and videos are available for babies to become a baby Einstein. There are even courses for babies to join to improve brain absorption and development from a few months old.
Who is a Hyper-Parent?
The hyper-parent does not allow the child to be average. Dr Alvin Rosenfeld in his article ‘The Hyper-Parenting Trap’ noted the temptation of hyper-parenting – “with its premise of fostering successful children. It blueprints every facet of creating “winner” kids through early activities, combined with intense practice, parental selflessness, and ceaseless devotion to being best.”
How can we avoid being one?
- Be discerning about advice
Expert resources or parenting advice may help to provide knowledge or increase options in day-to-day parenting or when parenting decisions need to be made. However they should not increase stress or create a higher burden for the parents. Be selective and adaptive about what advice works and what may not be suitable for you and your child.
- Be cautious with ‘popular’ products
There will always be products available to “improve” your child’s functions. Is it necessary to speed up what your child will learn to do normally when they reach a particular age? Before you make a purchase, check if the product will be enriching or something that tears attention from your child and instead cause another layer of problems. Did you know there are prams on sale with media device holders? Now children and babies need to be stimulated on the go while being pushed.
- Let your child have unscheduled times
Free time is not necessarily “unproductive”. It allows children to imagine, create and decide what they want to do. Don’t let children be so tightly scheduled that if left alone, they may not know what to do with themselves. As adults we may be so used to multi-tasking and making every second counts; we need to remember our children are not us.
by MindMake via MindMake Blog
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