My boys want to play video games all the time, and my 13-year-old daughter is crazy for texting and Facebook. They don’t bother me when they’re online, but I know I should set limits. But when I tell them to turn those things off, they make an awful fuss. Help!
Across the globe, at this very moment, children on iPads, cell phones, video games and computers are begging their parents for “just five more minutes.” It’s no surprise. Screens offer incomparable fun and social connectivity.
To say that the digital world exerts a strong pull on our children is an understatement; most adults have a hard time hitting the off switch. (I’m just going to check my Facebook page one more time… click one more link… post one more comment…)
We have arrived in the digital world without a map or compass. Without doubt, the digital world offers untold riches: We can stay up to date with loved ones, learn things we might otherwise never be exposed to, entertain ourselves 24/7— and the list goes on. A handheld device can become a portal into a world rich with discovery, whether in the hands of a ten year old in Chicago or a young woman in an African village.
AND, as parents, we need some idea of the lay of the land if we are to raise children who develop the self-regulation and self-awareness that will allow them touse technology without being consumed by it.
This week, I will be hosting a free, four day, online tele-series on Parenting in the Digital Age, and I want to offer a special invitation to my HuffPost Parents readers to join in this stellar program at no charge. You’ll hear Dr. Dan Siegel talk about how we can help teens create more balance in their screen use. Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, will talk about how connection with our children enhances their willingness to join us offline. Alanis Morissette will share insights into how we can handle our children’s frustration when it’s time to hit the OFF switch. Altogether, nineteen highly respected experts will share guidance and practical tips for parenting in the digital age. Please click to join!
Here are a few things to keep in mind about parenting in the digital age:
• Get clear. Most parents know that consistency is important, but if we are to establish clear guidelines about when our kids can and can’t plug in to their devices, we first have to locate clarity within ourselves. When we’re hazy or uncertain, our kids will invariably hard to convince us to bend the rules. If you are indecisive, ask yourself why? Are you confused about how much is too much time on devices? Afraid of your child’s anger? Simply too tired to argue? By discovering what fuels your lack of resolve, you’ll be better able to establish screen time rituals and routines that will reduce constant negotiations for more time or access.
• Know your child. Some youngsters can enjoy the iPad or online games without having too much trouble when it’s time to hit the OFF button. Others cannot; they come absolutely unglued when it’s time to unplug, lashing out with aggression, or sinking into a state of depression or ennui. Set guidelines based on your particular child, rather than adapting “rules” established by an expert or following suit with friends or family’s suggestions.
by MindMake via MindMake Blog
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