How to Tell if Your Kids Are Being Cyberbullied and What to Do

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Secure Thoughts | Cassie Phillips

Cyberbullies are the new norm in schools across the world, and they aren’t always the obvious problem kids with bad parentage. The anonymity and distance the internet provides gives kids plenty of opportunities for cruelty without thought of retribution, and what’s worse is that your kid can bring the abuse home with them from school. Being a victim of cyberbullies can lead to anxiety, bad grades and even suicide in the extreme cases. You can’t allow this to happen.

There are ways to protect your home and your child. They aren’t perfect, and they don’t always work immediately, but a sustained effort from a dedicated parent can make a world of difference and turn the tide back on the bullies. You just need to know what to do with the technology you and your child use and know when to act.

Here are the steps you need to take to keep your kids from becoming victims of this epidemic:

Look for Signs of Distress

You know your children better than anyone. You know when something is seriously bothering them, and you know when they’re just having a bad day. Make sure to ask your kids or teens what’s going on. They might be a little guarded, but you can get a general impression with some time, and you can fill in the blanks with enough information.

Also make sure to ask about the other kids at school. Try to figure out whether cyberbullying is a common issue in the community. Information is key to getting to the heart of the problem. If you know what methods are being used to cyberbully your kids, you can develop a more targeted strategy. Remember that what might seem normal on the surface doesn’t have to be as it seems.

Take a Look (Depending on the Situation)

If you do suspect something is going on based on your intuition or your child’s changing and possibly apprehensive relationship with technology, it is your prerogative to investigate that technology and take a look at what communications are going on. Note that due to privacy restrictions and apps such as Snapchat that leave no evidence after the fact (a favorite of cyberbullies), you might not catch everything. You will be able to notice trends and see what your children are using on their computers, however, and that is often enough.

Teach Your Kids the Skills They Need

Once you know about the problem or suspect it could become one in the future, you should teach them how to deal with threats as they happen and what habits to follow. Start with the following:

• Screenshots and evidence are great to have, even if the intention isn’t to show it to authorities. It shows a history of the behavior. A phone can screenshot a Snapchat before it disappears and can show the exact instance of cyberbullying.
• Regularly blocking and reporting abusive people is a great step for your child or teen to take when dealing with people online. They don’t have the time to give second chances, and all but the most persistent cyberbullies will move on to someone else. Privacy is a fantastic defense, and cutting people off is a great way to get some.
• Engagement never works. A cyberbully won’t listen to reason because they don’t want anything other than interaction and the knowledge that they have power over your child.
• Websites that permit or even encourage cyberbullying should be avoided. There are better things to do, and the mainstream websites have protection tools in place. Teach them that they have agency over their technology, not the other way around.

Give Them the Tools They Need

A great kid can get through most of the hate thrown their way, but more threatening cyberbullies and the persistent ones should be blocked and then defended against. The following tools are cybersecurity essentials that will help you with your efforts against cyberbullies:

• Get a security suite for every computer in the house that gets any use. Viruses and malware won’t make things easier for anyone, and it’s not unheard of for cyberbullies to send such things to their targets.
• Consider getting a Virtual Private Network (VPN) so that your child’s activities can’t be tracked by anyone online and their location remains private as well. Combined with good privacy habits and practices, this can make your child harder to find online.
• There are apps and tools that can let teens take a snapshot of the abuse as it happens and anonymously report it to an adult. This removes some of the fear of retaliation and lets kids open up more about what is going on.

Take Direct Action if Necessary

Depending on the age of your children and the severity of the situation, it might be best to let your kids handle the problem for themselves once you teach them what to do. It will give them self-confidence, and it avoids the stigma of adult involvement.

Other times, especially those times where violence is threatened or the bullying is especially cruel, will require your intervention. Act quickly and contact the principal of the school and possibly the parents of the cyberbullies in question (bring evidence). You will have to use your best judgement, but protecting your children from harm is always the right option.

It’s up to you to prepare your child with what they need to know about protecting themselves online. It won’t be easy, but action is needed for the attacks to calm down. Support is out there for those looking for it, and the law is on your side.

Are you worried that your child is getting cyberbullied and wondering if a more specific plan of action might be needed? Have you dealt with cyberbullies in the past and have information or stories you’d like to share with others? Please leave a comment below so that the discussion on this important and dangerous topic continues.

by MindMake via MindMake Blog