If your primary parenting goal is to keep your child safe, what kind of an adult do you think you’re raising?
Last week our family took its annual soul-crushing road trip: a cool 1,000 miles each way from Atlanta to the eastern end of Long Island. Along the way, my 8-year-old son got to experience a series of wonderful adventures: his first-ever visit to a Stuckey’s, corny staple of my own childhood road trips (they still sell Miner’s Gold gum!); making friends with random kids while swimming in hotel pools together; learning to help pump the gas at truck stops in half a dozen states.
He had a blast, and I loved watching him navigate all those gas stations and hotel lobbies, looking all of a sudden taller and more grown, still my baby but with a big-kid confidence and swagger.
I was still thinking about his new maturity when I got home and caught up on a Facebook group I joined, one for moms to discuss mom stuff. Someone had posted about the age at which children could or should go to the public restroom by themselves, and I read with growing surprise as dozens of mothers said they were taking their 8-year-old boys into the women’s room with them when they were out and about. Better safe than sorry, they told one another; I’d never forgive myself if something were to happen to him. One woman wrote about the danger of being raped or murdered in a public restroom: I’ll never forget what happened to that child in California, she wrote.
She has a good memory: The horrendous murder of a 9-year-old boy in a public bathroom, the one that seems to get mentioned every time there’s a conversation about this, happened in 1998.
I’d never want to downplay the horrific grief that child’s family must feel to this day, but to worry on a daily basis about something that happens once every few decades seems misplaced. Children are accidentally shot by friends and family every day in this country, but we are only now getting around to the conversation around guns in the home, and how to talk about it when sending your kid off to a play date.
by MindMake via MindMake Blog
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